


Dying Inside

by littleBrat13



Category: Free!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Kissing lol, Light Swearing, Multi, Some weird canon inconsistencies but forgive me cause I just want a friggin prom au lol, They didn't go though, lol, prom au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleBrat13/pseuds/littleBrat13
Summary: In which Rin and Haru decided to skip prom because they have no dates.A.K.A Rin and Haru are idiots.





	Dying Inside

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know that Iwatobi and Samezuka are like, far away. But in this fic, let's assume they're kinda near each other, okay? :)
> 
> Sincerely,  
> A trash

Rin just wants this _stupid day_ to get over with. Mostly because _**1.**_ It's prom. _**2.**_ He doesn't have a date. _**3\. HE DOESN'T HAVE A FREAKING DATE**_. He _would_ have! If not for Gou, that _betrayer_ , agreeing to be someone else's date, shooing him away with an  _"I don't want to be babysitted all night, Onii-chan!"_. Hah.

It's not like he never got invited in the first place. Like hell, he's _Rin Matsuoka..._ right...? Several girls from his class, and even from other classes invited him but he turned them down. He just... _well_ , doesn't feel a connection. Prom is supposed to be _special_ , _romantic, right?_ Why did they think inviting _him_ would be a great idea? He can't even remember having a personal conversation with any of them. Sousuke even scolded him once, _"You're being too idealistic, idiot. You'll never get laid if you're such a hopeless romantic."_

He doesn't remember why he didn't invite anyone either. _Why_ , _indeed_? All he remembers is that the first person to come to mind was _Nanase Haruka_ , that water freak, and he flipped out like, why the hell would he think about inviting Haru to _f*cking_ prom? _Sure,_ those eyes are _goddamn beautiful_... and Haru would... look so... _good_... _great_ in a suit, with his hair, maybe mused up a little and... _WTF?!?_  He's not having those weird thoughts _again_.

The loud ringing of his phone snapped him out of his weird reverie. He checked the caller id and found out that it was _Makoto_. What could he want right now? He must be getting ready to leave as well. Apparently, _Iwatobi_ and _Samezuka's_ prom are on the same date, coincidence or no, they wouldn't know. _Too bad you will not be able to invite Haruka-senpai to prom, right, Onii-chan?_  He remembers Gou teasing him months ago. _Ugggghhh_. NO, GOU. _Please stop_. 

 _"Rin?"_  

"Makoto. What's up?" 

 " _Are you getting ready to leave?"_

"I am. Why?"

 _"I have a favor to ask."_ He heard a short pause and soft sigh before Makoto continued. _"It's about Haru."_

Rin sat on the edge of his bed, and stopped fumbling on his necktie for a while, a bit worried about what could be happening. "What's he up to?"

_"Oh, no nothing. It's just... can you drop him off first before you go?"_

Rin quirked an eyebrow at the request. "Huh? Is he not going with you, Nagisa, and Rei? 

_"Err... well, you see, we all agreed to each go with our respective dates... and uhh..., well, Haru doesn't have one. And I'm kinda worried he won't go or something."_

Haru doesn't have a date. _Wtf_. He should have expected that from a dude who only thinks about water. _Well_ , to be fair, he couldn't really picture him inviting someone out given his personality. But he kept thinking a lot of girls and _even guys_ , would maybe ask him out. And he would have agreed cause it's _such a pain_ or _so bothersome_ , his words, not Rin's.  

Why would he... _not_ have a date...?  

Rin felt a familiar warmth blossoming in his chest at the thought of Haru _not_ having a date. And he's a bit confused... It's true that for the past weeks, he'd been thinking about Haru _dancing_ or _holding hands_ with some girl... _a lot, actually_... And he doesn't quite know why it's such an unpleasant feeling... Or why it's making him grumpy and bothered and all. Is it because he doesn't have someone as well? Is he upset because his rival is getting ahead of him in this regard? _Yeah, that must be it..._ Cause why else would he be so damn giddy right now...? So giddy he can't even stop the grin escaping his lips. Damn, he must be  _reaaaallly_ cruel and petty of a person.

 _"...Rin...?"_  

"O-oh.. yeah, sorry about that." He cleared his throat. "I guess I can't do anything about it. I'll pick him up."

 _"Great! Thanks Rin! I knew I could count on you."_ The relief was evident on Makoto's voice as they bid their goodbyes. 

 _Now, where was he?_ He checked himself one more time in the mirror. He _had_ to make sure he looks good. Like _, real good._ To rub it in Haru's face, of course. 

He started dialing Haru's phone number and was relieved when the other immediately picked up. "Oi Haru," 

_"Rin."_

This day is turning out to be interesting after all.

 

 

\---

 

 

After a few minutes, Rin pulled up in Haru's neighborhood and is nonchalantly opening his front door. He found Haru in front of the mirror, having trouble with his own tie. 

Rin was about to make fun of this  _water freak_ , but when he suddenly turned to him, Rin felt as if a huge lump got stuck in his throat and no words came out. It's like he's struggling to breathe... It's something akin to drowning... And _believe him_ , he almost drowned like, a lot of times.

Rin felt a little mushy inside cause _god_ , how could _someone_ look so... _so_... _beautiful_? Haru was wearing a dark blue plaid coat which really complimented his eyes. Underneath is a dark gray polo, and a red necktie which he's still struggling to fix. Other than the tie, he's overall _perfect_. Rin thinks that Haru absolutely looks... _fine_ with his slightly tousled hair and his... _seductive_ look. _Goddamn_ , he felt so unmatched with this guy. 

Rin never realized that they've been having a staring contest for quite sometime until the sound of an alarm disturbed them. _Wait_ , he was openly gawking at Haru!! _That's so embarassing!!_ Said guy still wasn't uttering a word, his calm eyes still directed at him. _What now?_ is Rin supposed to say something along the lines of _"I'm sorry, you just look so hot, I couldn't help it."_  Really cool, _Rin Matsuoka_.

It was Haru - _thank god_ \- who broke the awkward silence saying, "That was my alarm, I think we need to go."

At that, Rin gathered the courage to play it cool like he always does and tried to tease Haru with a grin, "You haven't even fixed your _goddamn_ tie, how are we supposed to go?"

The moment Haru slightly furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance, Rin simply chuckled and shrugged, moving closer to him in response. "You're so hopeless..." He stopped in front of him and gently removed the tangled monstrosity around his neck. "Let me do it for you." He looped it back around Haru's neck and fixed it with adept hands. 

Noticing that Haru's collar was also a bit out of place, Rin let out an exasperated sigh and tugged at the edge of his collar, straightening and patting it in place. _He's really so hopeless..._  

There were also some strands sticking out off of his hair that Rin can't help but reach out and put them in place. He wasn't done yet when he felt a ghost of breath on his cheek. "Rin."

That's the only time he realized that Haru's face was directly in front of his and that his body was a tad pressed against the other's chest. _Shit. Shit. Shit_. Rin felt his face heat up as he quickly moved away, his heart hammering in his chest. _Wtf was he doing??? Is he a housewife now???_

A small glance and he saw that Haru was also looking away.. with a... _slight blush_ on his cheeks? _Great Matsuoka_ , now you made him feel even more awkward.

Rin reached out a hand to touch the back of his neck, his gaze still directed somewhere else as he said, "I-I guess you're all set. Let's go?"

"Oh." Haru simply responded as he led the way out.

 

 

\---

 

 

The drive from Haru's home to Iwatobi was not supposed to be _this_ long. But somewhere along the way, Haru _somehow_ challenged him to _test_ his driving skills. _Well_ , it's true that he just got his driver's license last February after his 18th birthday but _no_   _way_  he's gonna turn down a challenge if there's one, especially if it's from _Nanase Haruka_. After all, they still have a little bit more time before prom. And maybe... just _maybe_ , Rin still wants to spend more time with Haruka, if only a little bit. 

And so, a couple exchanges of jeers and banters later, they ended up on a hill overlooking the entire village. It wasn't that far _per se_ , for a small village like theirs, but still out of their way. Not to mention that Rin also noticed just now that _Makoto_ and _Sousuke_ had been calling him for the past hour, probably wondering where the hell they are already. 

Rin took a deep sigh and turned to Haru who seem to be looking quite fondly on the scenery below them from the car's windows. "Haru, Makoto called." At that, Haru immediately glanced back at him. " _55 f*cking times_. I think we need to go."

Haru casted his eyes down and sulked a little, as if a child whose fun has been prematurely interrupted. Rin almost bit his lower lip from the mushy feeling blooming in his chest upon seeing the cute gesture. All the more when Haru gazed back at him again, his eyes pleading. _No, no Haru! Don't look at me like that. Don't f*cking look at me like f*cking that. I'm not a teenager, damnit. Oh wait, I still am_. 

"Rin, I don't want to go..." Haru almost whispered.

Rin's eyebrows knit as he growled, "If that is a freaking _Infinity Wars_ reference, I'm gonna f*cking kill you, _Nanase Haruka_." When Haru's lips slightly turned upwards, Rin knew that he was still messing with him. They all watched the godforsaken movie a week ago and Haru teased him _all week_ for "crying buckets" in an _action_ movie - his words, not Rin's. To think that the teasing still never stops! "I swear to god, Haru!!"

Rin was literally gonna jab him on the side cause _how could he??_ , but when he saw Haru huddling himself in the corner of his seat, and silently giggling, he felt his chest constrict again in that weird, _fluttery_ feeling and he wanted to punch himself instead. _What's happening to him???_ Haru just has _this_ effect on him and it annoys him so much...

When Haru looked back at him, his expression was gentle as he reached out to touch his arm. "I'm sorry..." He trailed a finger down till his hand was atop Rin's, lightly grasping it as if he was scared that Rin would jerk away from his touch. "Rin was just..." Haru closed his eyes and lightly shook his head. "Never mind... It's just that I really don't want to go to prom."

Though Rin was panicking internally, he finds it quite odd that he _really_ likes the feeling of Haru's hand in his. It's warm, and tingly. Or he's imagining things, he doesn't even know now. Sighing, he flips his hands over and mindlessly interlaced it with Haru's. " _Okay_... I'll stay with you."

 

 

\---

 

 

"Good thing I always brought a sleeping bag, huh, Haru?" Rin grinned at Haru as they laid side by side on the piece of cloth splayed on the grass. " _Man_ , if I had known we'd be skipping prom, I would've brought camping stuff."

They'd been lying there for a few moments now, enjoying the night view - as Rin suggested, thinking that Haru would probably enjoy it more than waiting the night out inside his car. "You could've just told me you don't want to go because you don't have a date." He teased, chuckling a bit.

"You're one to talk." Haru replied in his usual monotonous tone, and Rin looked at him with an _I can't believe you_ face.

"I-I have a date." Rin spluttered in embarassment. _There's no way he would know that, right??_

"You mean, Gou?" 

" _What?!?!?_ " Rin covered his probably red face with a hand. _Gou, that blabbermouth._ "You know what, let's just drop this conversation."

Rin let out a few frustrated sighs before he turned to Haru again. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I - "

"And please don't tell me it has something to do with water, Haru." He cut him off before he could even speak. He _had_ to, okay? Or else he would get a response along the lines of that.

"I knew _that_ ," Haru almost _haruummpphed_ in response and Rin couldn't help but giggle a little and think that he really is like a little kid. He watched him open and close his mouth for a few times, yet no words came out. And Rin knew that he's probably considering his response or _maybe_ hesitating on what he's about to say. And _always_ , always Haru had been like that, but Rin always thought that it's kinda... _endearing_. "I was thinking... I'd like to _dance_."

Rin jolted up to a sitting position, looking down at Haru questioningly, " _Wtf_ Haru!! If you wanted to dance then I should've just dropped you off instead!" He felt a little guilty about the whole thing though he hadn't instigated it in the first place.

Haru also sat up, staring at him defensively, "No... I..." He sighed a few times still _(probably)_ contemplating on his next words and Rin patiently waited but there was only silence. 

Rin felt a slight shiver on his spine as a chilly breeze blew and it's funny how that's the only time he became more aware of their surroundings.

The night was very quiet and still, there was only the rythmic noise of crickets in the background. He swears he could even hear the sound of their faint breathing...

There was no moon tonight, but there were multitudes of stars shining brightly in the night sky, even brighter than the village lights. Around them were several fireflies appearing and disappearing in sync.

And in the dim light, he could see Haru. _Right beside him_. His blue eyes were glistening along with the stars, his hair fluttering gently against the wind. 

It was... sentimental... Somehow,  _romantic_.  _Uggh, what the hell was he saying?_

In a split second he saw Haru reaching out towards him and Rin instictively closed his eyes, his heart fluttering. He felt a warm hand cupping his cheek, fingers tenderly brushing a spot near his lips. It was unusual, and yet, it felt _right_.

"There's dirt on your face." Haruka commented, but his hands never left Rin's face still.

"Y-yeah..." Rin whispered. "Thanks... I-I guess."

Haru took a deep breath this time, and says, "Since we couldn't dance, would you..." he paused, "...like to dance with me instead?"

Rin almost choked at that, heat returning to his cheeks as his heart throbbed loudly, it reached his ears. _A dance with Haru?_  He'd thought about inviting him to prom before, but it didn't occur to him that he could _actually_ dance with him. And now that Haru brought the idea up, he felt... kinda _weird_. Like, he wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, he wanted to grab him tight, god knows why. _Had he gone insane?_ He'd always been a ball of emotions, Gou always told him.

Rin only nodded, still unable to get his voice out. 

There was a soft smile on Haru's face as he stood up and reached out a hand to help Rin get up.

The next thing Rin knew was that a pair of arms encircles his waist, pulling him closer that their chests were pressed against each other. He could feel Haru's warmth that he suddenly felt self-conscious, he instinctively grasped the other's clothing tighter and hid his face against his collar bone - which was actually a _bad idea_ , cause he could hear the loud beating of his heart even more... _Or was it Haru's...?_

There was no music, and yet they were swaying gently, uncaring of the world around them.

Rin felt like _drowning_ , but it was pleasant... He felt like he can't breathe but it was strangely comfortable... Like he was being lulled to sleep. He wants to stay like this... for a while.

He felt slight vibrations in Haru's chest and he unburied himself from him for a while and heard that he was actually _humming_. Haru was _humming_ , _holy shit what_. After a short while, Rin heard him singing in a small, soft tune, it almost made him cough. 

_"And I was dying inside to hold you."_

_"I couldn't believe what I felt for you."_

Rin was almost tempted to laugh at Haru's choice of song, but the seriousness and gentleness in his voice made him forget about it. There was also that churning feeling in his stomach again but he found himself not minding it anymore.  _Geez, he's got a good voice, it's so unfair_. 

_"Dying inside."_

_"I was dying inside."_

Rin slid his arms under Haru's and placed his hands against his shoulder blades, much as if he's hugging him. He rested his chin against Haru's shoulder so that he could hear him better. 

_"But I couldn't bring myself to touch you."_

Rin sighed. _He even smells this good, it's so unfair_.

 _He was so, so warm... it's so unfair._  

He didn't really want to think about it. He never really wanted to realize it. If he could, he would just bury it inside him forever, not letting everyone, _even himself_ know.

Haru had always been his spring. Always the one who brings him to life, always the warmth that he's waiting for _every damn time_.

There was always that special place for Haru in his heart. No matter how many times he tried to ignore it, no matter how many times he tried to shrug it off, play it cool... it's been _years_ and Haru still owns that special place. And Rin knows that he will _always_ own that place, no matter what.

And it's so unfair. 

_I'm in love with you and it's so unfair._

Rin noticed that they suddenly stopped swaying and Haru slowly pulled away from him. The arms encircling his waist was no longer there, leaving him feeling a little bit empty.

He looked at Haru for the first time since they danced at noticed that his gaze was serious, and there was a little blush adorning his cheeks. _What?_

Both of Haru's hands suddenly moved up to cup his cheeks once more and he whispered, as if talking to himself, "Why is it unfair?"

At that, Rin just wants to run back to his car and drive several miles away from Haru, and never show himself again for a year. _No_. For forever. _Shit shit shit. Did he really just say that out loud?_  His whole body was heating up, it feels like he's gonna combust soon.

Rin tried to avert his gaze from him but Haru forced his face upward, saying "I'm right here, Rin. Look at me."

Rin hesitantly met his gaze and upon seeing those eyes, he felt his emotions going haywire. He didn't even notice that there were tears welling up at the corner of his eyes until Haru wiped them with his fingers, looking concerned. 

" _I can't_ , Haru." Rin bit his lower lip. "Cause when I look at you, these _things_ , just... overflow, and I can't..."

Haru then used one of his hands to push away the strands of hair covering Rin's forehead and placed a soft kiss in there and at the tip of his nose. "It's the same for me..."

Rin's eyes widened and he was about to ask what Haru meant when he suddenly pulled him close and claimed his lips. 

 _Soft, it was soft_ , Rin thought. And he's _melting_ , his insides were doing plenty of sommersaults and at that moment, he was certain that that was really biologically possible.

Haru pulled away for a while and sensually licked his lower lip. Rin instinctively opened his mouth and met Haru's tongue with his... Haru immediately dived right in, licking, sucking, and leisurely _tasting_ him. Rin didn't even notice that Haru was already encircling him again and grasping him tight, while he too had his arms on his neck, his hands caressing his soft locks.

And now, Rin really felt like he's _drowning_. Haru was overwhelming him with his wet kisses, exploring his lips, his tongue, as if he was long deprived of it... As if his kisses were his air and he can no longer live without it.

They were both panting when Haru released his lips, still planting soft and wet kisses all over his face - his cheeks, his jaws, his eyelids, his temple.

Rin was now certain that the loud hammering was not only his heart but Haru's as well, he can't help but smile a little.

Haru was blushing a lot when he looked at Rin again. "Sorry... I just... never even _dreamed_ this would happen..." He took one of Rin's hand and gingerly placed several kisses on each of his fingers, then one on his forehead. "I just... loved you _for so long_... I never thought..."

Rin felt tears welling up his eyes again at the confession and he leaned on Haru's shoulder, kissing his collars and hugging him tight. _"You idiot..."_

Haru smiled fondly at him, whispering "I'm in love with you, Rin."

Rin buried his face on his chest once more, growling,  _"I get it already_... Stop being embarassing, _Nanase_."

The red at the tips of his ears tells Haru what Rin actually meant, and he gathers him on his arms again.

Rin couldn't be more contented in Haru's arms as he looks at the skies and thinks that the stars are shining brighter than it was a while ago, but they still couldn't compare to Haru's glistening eyes. _Shit, he's being sappy again, isn't he???_

 

 

\---

 

 

**Omake:**

 

"Makoooo-channnn, is Haru-chan really not coming tonight?" Nagisa whined, a little disappointed that they cannot be with Haru in such an important event.

Makoto only gave him a knowing smile. "Haru's got to _do_ something more important than this, Nagisa."

 

**Omake 2:**

 

"Why didn't you wanna go to prom anyway?" Rin suddenly asked as he was lying on Haru's lap on the couch. When they went home, they decided to eat some ice cream and watch some movie before Rin goes back and be hogged by questions from his mom and Gou about skipping prom etc etc. "Don't tell me you're really bothered you don't have a date?" Rin teased with a little grin, "That doesn't sound like you."

Haru stopped caressing Rin's hair for a moment and was a bit hesitant to answer. "Well, I was actually planning to go, even if it's bothersome."

Rin raised an eyebrow at that, "Then why?"

Haru closed his eyes and sighed before answering, " _Because_..." He opened his eyes again and stared at Rin, "Somebody had to pick me up, looking so _gorgeous_ , I don't wanna show him to anybody... I just wanna keep him all to _myself_." 

Rin immediately turned red, covering his entire face with both hands. 

"Satisfied now?" Though he felt a little embarassed, Haru felt a little triumphant at Rin's reaction.

"Y-yes. Stop talking, i-idiot."

Haru's victory was soon interrupted when Rin suddenly straddled him and push him down the couch so that he was on top of him. Though he was still blushing madly, he whispered with a small glint on his eyes, "You... you could... keep me all to yourself now..."

And suddenly, _Haru doesn't know how to breathe._

 

**Author's Note:**

> In case you haven't noticed, Makoto is a _little sh*t_. Hahahaha


End file.
